Candidates To Wear Electric Debate Collars
After numerous complaints of poor behavior during this campaign season, the League of Women Voters has decided that presidential candidates must wear electric shock collars in future debates.
“We’ve seen Hillary and Donald square off, and it was ugly,” said Emily Tortsover, the head of the debate organizing committee told The Lint Screen. “And last night, we witnessed the Tim and Mike show. It was an awful affair and their behavior was completely unacceptable. We’ve tried rewarding candidates with treats for good behavior, but that doesn’t seem to work. Something had to be done, and electric collars are the natural solution.”
For Sunday’s presidential debate, Ms. Clinton and Mr. Trump will be outfitted with heavy duty electric neck collars. “We can issue up to 50,000 watts if anyone gets too out of hand,” said Ms. Tortsover. “We hope we won’t have to go to that extreme, but we have a bank of generators just in case. We really don’t want to tax the power grid if things get ugly again.”
#######################################################
Patrick Scullin is an empathetic adman and founder of Ames Scullin O'Haire Advertising(ASO), and has created campaigns helping Georgia Aquarium, The Coca-Cola Co., UPS, Golf Pride Golf Grips, Mitsubishi Electric, Delhaize America, Georgia Natural Gas, Mellow Mushroom and more.
He has two blogs: Empathetic Adman (marketing pontification) and The Lint Screen (satire, smartassery humor, pop culture ramblings, and advice for people getting hip replacements).
Articles from Patrick Scullin
View blogThe Secret Service accepts no blames for missing texts on January 5, and 6, 2021. · Jim Fletcherson ...
The suave Trump defends price gouging. · Eric Trump, The Trump Organization’s executive vice preside ...
"Hershel is much more Christian than Rev. Warnock," claims Sen. Rick Scott. · Sen. Rick Scott of Flo ...
You may be interested in these jobs
-
Lead Mechanical Engineer
Found in: beBee S2 US - 3 weeks ago
Bechtel Brownsville, United StatesRequisition ID: 275529 · Relocation Authorized: National - Single · Telework Type: Full-Time Office/Project · Work Location: Brownsville, TX · Since 1898, we have helped customers complete more than 25,000 projects in 160 countries on all seven continents that have created jo ...
-
Associate Business Unit Manager
Found in: Appcast Linkedin GBL C2 - 1 day ago
Pexco Aerospace, Inc. Union Gap, United StatesThe Associate Business Unit Manager focuses heavily on value creation, including value-based pricing, productivity, and profitable new business to create real intrinsic value. The successful candidate will grow into a future position where they will lead a cross-functional Busine ...
-
EMT Basic- Bay Shore
Found in: Lensa US P 2 C2 - 2 days ago
AMR Corp. Freeport, United StatesLocated in Bay Shore, NY · More Information about this Job: · Emergency Medical Technician-Basic (EMT-B) · IMMEDIATELY HIRINGEMT FULL-TIME or PART-TIME Opportunities · Starting pay is $18.62 per hour and up depending on your years of experience · We're hiring Emergency Medic ...
Comments