Attraction Triggers - Learn The Predictable Patterns that Make Men Fall In Love
Attraction Triggers
Learn The Predictable Patterns that Make Men Fall In Love
She was one of my favorite clients, and her words kept echoing through
my mind...
"He doesn't see the point, James. That's what he said to me. So I don't see
the point either. If I can't win his heart with your help, I must not be cut
out for love."
And that was it.
She ended our Skype session. And because she lived on the other side of
the world, I couldn't even tell her it was me who had failed.
I had taken too big of a risk. Something my gut warned me against before
I even gave her the advice.
But I ignored my gut. I went for the "big win." Because I wanted to satisfy
my own ego. I wanted her to be amazed at how fast I could turn the tide of
her relationship.
I was young, and naive. And I was practicing the complicated art of
relationship coaching.
I felt like giving up. So I went to my mentor for advice.
I had come to trust her words of wisdom whenever things seemed to fall
apart.
This was one of those days. And I needed to see her.
I sat across from her with my face in my hands, trying not to feel the
sadness and bitter frustration.
I was lost in my thoughts. Lost in my self-pity. But she looked past the
pathetic man sitting across from her. And she called out to the man she
had agreed to mentor.
"James," she said, "though you might want to believe otherwise, you are
destined to fail as a relationship coach. It's just part of the learning
process. You will make mistakes.
"And sometimes it's going to hurt. But let me remind you of something
you told me long ago.
"You told me you are on a mission to find the secrets of relationship
Visit our Free Presentation on how to become His Secret Obsession success. And every time you fail, you refine your ability to guide others
toward success."
She had a special ability. The ability to call out the strength and resilience
in others. The ability to reignite the fire that drives a person's core
motivation.
My core motivation? I wanted to be the best. Not just the best around, but
the best there ever was.
And for a long time, that blinded me. It slowed my progress. Until one day
I realized I could never be the solution to someone else's relationship.
You see, beauty sometimes erupts spontaneously in relationships between
a man and woman. I wanted to understand why.
So I got out of my own way. I started to search for patterns. I searched,
and I searched.
And this is what I found.
The Attraction Triggers
With the right triggers, both men and women are designed to fall in love.
We are literally hardwired to fall in love. We are not meant to be alone.
Did you know it's illegal to own just one guinea pig in Switzerland? I'm
not making this up.
In 2008, they passed several new laws about pet ownership. The one about
guinea pigs recognizes the fact that they are genetically hardwired to
thrive with companionship. While loneliness takes a serious toll on their
health.
Of course, psychologists have been telling us the same thing about
humans for years. Our physical and emotional health is largely dependent
on companionship.
In fact, if you were stranded on a deserted island with a man, everything
that's feminine about you would call to him. Without competing
distractions, the two of you would be destined to become a couple.
But here's the question I became fascinated with:
How can you amplify the natural triggers that cause romantic attraction?
As I watched for clues, I began to see universal patterns. Relationship
Visit our Free Presentation on how to become His Secret Obsession patterns that seemed to show up over and over again just before something
beautiful emerged in a relationship.
Then I began to discover ways to trigger those patterns.
These triggers could cause a couple to leap forward to deeper levels of
intimacy and commitment. Sparking a new level of intimacy that could
only be called "true love." A selfless way of loving that was absolutely
beautiful.
You can probably imagine my excitement. Studying patterns in
relationships became my new obsession.
That was long ago. But I never stopped searching. And I've discovered a
few relationship patterns you might like to know about.
The Strangest Thing Men Desire
It's okay if you want an amazing relationship with a man. It's okay if you
refuse to settle for a lukewarm relationship.
But if you're going to go all out, and really build a beautiful relationship,
you need to share that dream with the man you invite into your life.
And to do a good job of inviting him, you have to understand what's
enticing about a relationship from a man's perspective.
In fact, you'll want to interact with him in a way that feels almost like a
proposal. And here's what you're proposing:
"Let's reject cynicism. Embrace what's beautiful. And create something
magnificent."
But what holds those qualities for a man? What seems "magnificent" to a
man?
He doesn't see a relationship the same way you do. So it's important to
know how men see relationships differently.
That way you can frame your invitation in a way that gets results. You can
frame your invitation in a way that connects with his natural drive to
create something beautiful with you.
You'll whet his appetite. You'll trigger his desire to go after a deeper
romantic connection with you.
Sounds good, right?
Visit our Free Presentation on how to become His Secret Obsession So, what is the beauty a man sees in a committed relationship? Well, it
might sound a bit odd to you at first, but here it is:
A romantic relationship satisfies a man's craving for companionship to the
extent that it fits with his identity...the way he wants to see himself.
Understanding this one statement will give you tremendous power in your
relationships with men. So let me explain.
Generally speaking, we seek out relationships because of the other
person's qualities. We love someone for who they are. But we also seek
out relationships because of the way other people make us feel about
ourselves.
Let me offer a short story that illustrates this concept well.
When I was in high school, there was a girl named Stephanie who had it
all. She was tall with a pretty face and a nice figure.
Her dad was one of the richest guys in town and gave her the choice of
any brand-new car she wanted for her sixteenth birthday. Nearly all the
popular guys in our school stood in line for their turn to date her.
I did not stand in line.
If you asked me if she was an attractive person, I would have said "yes"
without a second thought. However, I was not attracted to the idea of
myself in her presence.
She was taller than me by a good inch. She wore clothes that made mine
look shabby. And the worst thing was her silly way of interacting with
people.
I was kind of serious during my high school years, driven by my appetite
for achievement. In contrast, Stephanie liked to engage people with as
much silly banter as she could.
It's not that I couldn't see the value of that playful style of interaction; it's
just that it didn't play to my strong suit. I could imagine myself feeling
awkward and unlikable compared to her when trying to interact with her
friends.
In contrast, my friends appreciated my tendency to deeply consider
questions before responding. I had my silly side too. But I wouldn't want
to be that version of myself twenty-four-seven.
Here's what I'm getting at...
When I'm attracted to you, it means I want more of you in my life. But
Visit our Free Presentation on how to become His Secret Obsession
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