Anxiety and How It Can Interfere With Vacation Planning
How Anxiety Disorder Can Dampen Vacation Plans
The excitement of going on vacation is replaced with incessant fears
Photo Courtesy of Unsplash.com
I have been fortunate over the past 20 years because I’ve been able to vacation each year, something that always filled me with excitement, especially during the planning phase. This all changed when I hit the lovely age of 50. Is 50 some type of magical number for change in many aspects?
I’ve planned a road trip to Colorado with my husband and we will be leaving in May. As I began to plan our trip my intrusive thoughts decided to visit. I have Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD) along with panic disorder, which is not uncommon when a person has GAD. Intrusive or Obsessive thoughts are not uncommon with GAD. Intrusive thoughts are unwanted thoughts, irrational at times and frustrating as hell. The thoughts are frustrating because they lead to more thoughts and take all the fun out of planning not to mention the idea of leaving.
We decided to do a road trip because I also have a fear of flying, go figure! I’m not too anxious about the road trip because it will be just me and my husband. My husband has become informed over the years about my illness and has a lot of patience with me. I feel in complete control when we drive together. I’m extremely thankful that he has taken the time to learn more about my illness and try his best to understand me.
So, what’s the problem you ask?
I worry about waking up early enough for one. After all, we are on vacation and it sucks to sleep half your day away when there is so much to see. I have a very hard time falling asleep before 4 am and an even harder time waking up before 11 am when I’m at home. I begin to think of my horrible sleeping habits and how I’m going to affect not just my husband but those around me once we arrive in Colorado. We are going to see my son, his wife and our grandchildren. My son and his family get up early, just as I used to when I had kids at home. They also want to take us to many beautiful places while we visit and of course, I obsess over the idea of not being in control before we leave. I should be excited that I have grown children who love spending time with us. Don’t get me wrong, the rational person in me is thrilled but my anxiety over-rides rationale. The increase in my anxiety has led to an increase in panic attacks.
If I don’t get enough sleep, I feel very sick, moody, shaky and I tend to have vertigo or feel dizzy for most of the day. My mind already began dwelling on the ‘what if’s.’ What if they plan an outing without running it by me and we need to get up early, oh shit… I’m not sure I can do it. What if they plan to go somewhere I’m just not comfortable, great… a panic attack may set in. What if they get upset with me because I can’t just suck it up and have fun? What if I say no, this won’t work for me, I’d rather hang out at the home today? What if I share with them that 11 am is just too early for me and I’d appreciate it if we could leave around 1 pm? These are just a ‘few’ thoughts that race through my mind constantly. Who wants to disappoint their children or grandchildren? What if I disappoint my kids and grandchildren? My stomach has butterflies and my heart is racing while I write about a few of the ‘what if’s’ that travel through my mind quite frequently before we leave for vacation.
I met with my Counselor Today
I shared my fears with my Counselor and he told me to be honest about my needs. He reminded me that young children are very accepting and non-judgmental.
My Counselor suggested that I may want my husband to talk to my family in order to reinforce that Anxiety Disorder is real and people need to show compassion along with being accommodating of my needs. Sometimes we need a family member to step in and remind those we love that anxiety disorder is real and it hurts the sufferer much more than those around them.
My counselor suggested with the help of my husband that we control our time and what it is we feel comfortable doing without making excuses. My Counselor also reminded me that it’s OK to do things that kids may not always find exciting because it teaches them that life isn’t all about them and it also teaches them respect for their elders. Of course, my Counselor wasn’t suggesting that we don’t do fun things with the kids, balance is the key.
My Counselor reminded me it’s okay to say no if I’m not comfortable with doing something. An example- we drove to Rocky Mountain National Park a few years ago and got out of the vehicle at about 11,500 ft. It was a beautiful drive and so was the area we stopped the vehicle. I was excited to roam and experience the splendid views. As soon as I got out of the vehicle I became dizzy and extremely nauseated. I had elevation sickness. My son thought I was just car sick. No, I wasn’t car sick or I would have felt ill while driving. I had to sit on a rock while they wandered off. I remember a few women walking by me and asking, “Honey, are you okay?” I said yes, I’m fine. The women said, “You don’t look Okay, you’re as white as a ghost.” When everyone returned from their short hike, they said we were going to drive all the way up the mountain which was 14, 700 ft above elevation. I relayed that I couldn’t do it because I already had elevation sickness. At that time I could feel the annoyance and that everyone felt I was over-reacting and just ‘anxious.’ I had to beg and we ended up driving down the mountain a bit and we found waterfalls streaming down large rocks and boulders. We pulled over and got out at 9500 ft, I felt just fine! It wasn’t my imagination but I must admit, I believe the elevation sickness along with worrying about upsetting everyone set off a panic attack. I don’t want to be put in a position like this again, so I need to remember, it’s okay to say no.
A few other suggestions my Counselor gave me- Take some audio books to listen to while in the car. Remember to try and focus on the day at hand. Stay centered in ‘today.’ Focus on our road trip on the way down, since I am excited about seeing a few places we’ve yet to see.
Most importantly, my Counselor reminded me to not worry about what others think but to remember that I’m loved and my family will accept me as I am much easier if I can accept myself.
One last note: It really does help to have a loved one speak on your behalf if others don’t quite understand Anxiety and Panic disorder, it validates the fact that it is real.
In all honesty, I’m absolutely looking forward to our trip and I have 2 more appointments with my Counselor before we leave. I think I’ve got this!
*Original Article with similar title posted on Medium.com*Articles from Lisa Gallagher
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Comments
Lisa Gallagher
6 years ago #25
Personally, they've never worked for me. Some people say Kava works. Studies have been done which state Kava doesn't. I never benefited from it. Maybe others would know? They do sell teas specifically for stress, a company named Yogi sells one. You can get it in the grocery store. It wouldn't hurt to try, maybe it would work for you. B vitamins are supposed to be really good for anxiety. You have to take B Complex with B12. I buy both and get sublingual drops. They sell sublingual B12 too. It takes time for a vitamin regime to begin to work if it's going to but that is well worth trying.
Lyon Brave
6 years ago #24
Lisa Gallagher
6 years ago #23
Thank you , you are so sweet! Yes, it will be a great trip :)) Thanks for sharing too!!
🐝 Fatima G. Williams
6 years ago #22
Lisa Gallagher
6 years ago #21
Lisa Gallagher
6 years ago #20
Hi debasish majumder thank you very much! I felt my mind was a bit scattered when I wrote this but that's what anxiety does to a person. I try to keep it very real because so many suffer. Appreciate that you took the time to read! Thanks for the share!
Lisa Gallagher
6 years ago #19
Thanks Ren\u00e9e \ud83d\udc1d Cormier, hugs back and always, wishing you the best too. Your awesome!
Lisa Gallagher
6 years ago #18
Thanks Jerry Fletcher, that's the key, understanding myself, understanding how my brain is different and trying hard to reprogram years of not 'understanding' which led to where I am now. Thanks for reading and wish you all the best too :)
Lisa Gallagher
6 years ago #17
Hi Ren\u00e9e \ud83d\udc1d Cormier, sadly with GAD (Generalized Anxiety Disorder) thoughts do control you in a strange way. That's one of the reasons I'm in therapy working on reprogramming my brain per se. Intrusive thoughts are unwanted thoughts that play over and over like a broken record in your mind no matter what thoughts you try to replace them with, they return instantly. I never realized how much my thoughts controlled me until I sought help. That is *one* of my issues and I actually thought for a very long time that I was weak and should be able to control my thoughts- I worked hard daily w/out success and just became more worn down physically, When people are inflicted with intrusive thoughts they beat themselves up more than anyone. Logically, a person will keep saying, "This is BS, I need to stop thinking these thoughts, re-direct... think about all the positive things going on, think of wonderful memories," eg, it's only a temporary (very temporary) reprieve. Don't get me wrong, I'm not a negative Nancy no matter how it may appear when I write. I agree, we can choose our thoughts but we aren't always in control. I appreciate you taking the time to read this. :)
Lisa Gallagher
6 years ago #16
Thanks for reading Pascal Derrien :)
Lisa Gallagher
6 years ago #15
Maybe I will silently use those two words while doing my deep breathing lol.
Jerry Fletcher
6 years ago #14
Robert Cormack
6 years ago #13
Pascal Derrien
6 years ago #12
Ali Anani
6 years ago #11
You aren't alone or crazy. I wish we all had your bravery and social commitment.
Lisa Gallagher
6 years ago #10
I used to have as part of my bio on Twitter that my mind travels faster than the speed of light. You may be on to something Ali Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee. And, my hope is by sharing such personal stories, others will find they arent alone or crazy.
Ali Anani
6 years ago #9
Lisa Gallagher
6 years ago #8
My son is doing a race at Pikes Peak this summer! Every year my son, my brother, and brother in law do Mt. Evans bike race, it's become a yearly tradition for them. Pikes Peak I've yet to see. I think my son wanted to drive me up there the last time but I said no... Isn't that where you can see the Continental Divide from?
Lisa Gallagher
6 years ago #7
Lisa Gallagher
6 years ago #6
You're so sweet Paul Walters! I promise... I really promise that when (not if) I overcome my fear of long distance flying in particular, Bali will be my first destination, how can I refuse?! I actually believe you when you say, anxieties can disappear. They disappear for the most part when I'm lucky enough to spend just one week on the ocean. As for those sleeping pills.. I think I need horse tranquilizers because my Dr. gave me a 'drug cocktail' the last time I flew- a Klonopin, Xanax and dramamine - it relaxed me but I didn't sleep?! WTheck? Same thing when I flew to Phoenix Az, I was wide awake, hyper vigilant on the same meds and I wasn't tired after I got off the plane either. Psst, I can hear the tides calling my name!
Lisa Gallagher
6 years ago #5
I appreciate that you did take the time to read my thoughts CityVP \ud83d\udc1d Manjit! It's in part cathartic but what I'm learning as I continue to write raw buzzes (blogs) that those who suffer similarly feel more free to share their own stories. Sharing a story is for many is often the first time they were able to admit out loud that they have an illness and they don't need to feel embarrassed because it is an illness. As it becomes easier to share with people you trust or even people you don't know (in my case by being so open online) it pushes a person to seek more help on those thoughts that may be plaguing them. I shared my fears today with my Dr about this trip and I have to say, it was a great appointment which gave me hope. Thanks for being a good listener, that means a lot to anyone who's suffering from any illness. :)
Lisa Gallagher
6 years ago #4
Thanks , we actually leave at the end of May. I appreciate all your support and all the shares you've given my articles. Sharing and talking openly will help to end it, I believe!!
Paul Walters
6 years ago #3
CityVP Manjit
6 years ago #2
David B. Grinberg
6 years ago #1