John White, MBA

7 years ago · 2 min. reading time · ~100 ·

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What To Do When Someone Tells You You're Not Good Enough

What To Do When Someone Tells You You're Not Good Enough

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Throughout my career, I've been plagued by people telling me I'm not good enough. I've been rejected for more jobs than I care to remember. I've heard every excuse in the book for not being hired. Some of them were quite absurd and hard to swallow.

I've had my share of toxic bosses who have tried to hold me back. They used every chance they could get to put me down in an effort to make themselves look smart. They took credit for my ideas and then blamed me for their own failures.

After a while, it's hard not to start believing your haters. I know I did. My career began to plummet as a result. There will always be voices telling you you're not good enough. Telling you you're wasting your time and you should just give up.

Just because someone holds a fancier title than you or has a larger ego, doesn't mean they know what is best for your career. Many people in management positions are still trying to figure it out for themselves.

A few years ago, I fell into this trap. I started to believe that people with senior titles knew more than I did. Instead of continuing to work hard and push to move forward in my career, I began to accept the limitations that others were casting on me. The negative voices in my life were starting to drag me down.

The most difficult part of my journey has been to believe in myself and not listen to the people who were trying to hold me back. I love this quote from, Sean Stephenson: "Never believe a prediction that doesn't empower you."

Before I started blogging, I sought out advice from my boss, friends, family, and my mentors at the time. Not a single one of them advised me to start writing. Little did they know it would be my blogs that would propel my career forward and enable me to pivot into something I love.

Use your haters as an instrument for change and personal growth.

You don't have to listen to what everyone else thinks.

Always remember, the people who say you can't do something can't do it either! Not one person I sought advice from about starting a blog had ever made a dime from writing.

To overcome the negative voices of your haters, you need to seek out mentors who have been where you'd like to go. Seek out people who will coach you and empower you along your journey.

A good mentor will challenge you to get better. A good mentor will point out your shortcomings and tell you why you weren't good enough that particular day. However, unlike a hater, a good mentor will provide you with solutions for growth. These are the voices you should listen to.

To find success, keep grinding, improving your existing skills, and learning new ones.

Every day in life you have a choice to either listen to your haters and give in to self-doubt or go out there and make the changes you need to improve. Do something small each day to improve your career, and over time those small steps will turn into something big.

I've put the days of listening to haters in the past, and it's been amazingly liberating. Once I finally made this decision, it empowered me to begin achieving in my career again.

Originally published on my column in Inc. Magazine

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Comments

Devesh 🐝 Bhatt

7 years ago #15

I would simply ask why. Maybe i learn something or i learnt that their reasons are not good enough.

Paul Walters

7 years ago #14

John White, MBA having read a lot of your stuff...I think you're good enough !!!

Jerry Fletcher

7 years ago #13

John, I've come to the conclusion that there are three kinds of people in the world: 1. Those who don't know what they don't know and hence are not capable of giving advice 2. Those who know what they know and what they don't and can give advice on matters in their knowledge base 3. Those those that ask for advice from the knowledgeable, listen and then find out for themselves. Of these the last is what I believe we should aim for while avoiding the unsolicited little voice in your head that says, "what makes you think you can..."

Liesbeth Leysen, MSc.

7 years ago #12

this is really a beautiful message John White, MBA, you will touch many hearts with it!

Robert Cormack

7 years ago #11

Very interesting post, John White, MBA. I've had my share of firings and toxic bosses as well. Interestingly enough, every time I've been fired, my boss has said "You do good work, Robert, but we're letting you go." I may write about this one day. It seems the day you stop nodding your head, you're a target. Head nodders always last longer than head shakers. Nobody has a problem with a "kiss ass" but if you fight, you have legions of people wishing you'd just go away. Thanks for the post.

Julio Angel 🐝Lopez Lopez

7 years ago #10

Great article John White, MBA thanks.

Lisa Gallagher

7 years ago #9

This article still inspires me John White, MBA tagged you, your company & I added your publications to the tag on my last post which is on Thriveglobal. You are an inspiration to so many and one day I would love to chat with you on the phone when you have time. I have a few ideas and I could use sound advice from someone like yourself! Kudos to you for ignoring the haters and letting them ignite your flame!

CityVP Manjit

7 years ago #8

#5
This is very topical because I saw an interview with Matt Damon where the interviewer asked how his mentor in what was a regular school in Boston end up producing three Oscar winners in Damon, the two Afleck brothers. It is the way he fondly remembered his mentors that showed me just how many people in life are unsung heroes. I believe that when we have that level of gratitude, that emotive energy can be sufficient to override the negative batteries that drain us of energy and life. We know when we come across a negative battery, for their only purpose is to drain us, and so it is important to recognize these effects but also supplement positive effects that Matt Damon expressed in his great affection and tribute to his high school drama teacher, a man who selflessly taught his art so others could achieve the impossible dreams. We cannot let our lives be defined by tormentors when there are these mentors that you have expressed in our life.

Christi Morgan

7 years ago #7

This!

Devesh 🐝 Bhatt

7 years ago #6

Writing is a good way to get clarity. I think it work marvelouslly if a person reads you and writes thoughts about it somewhere for reflection. At a place where it can stand alone. Not only as a comment that disappears between many comments but something for oneself to go back to after reading you. Just a thought.

David B. Grinberg

7 years ago #5

Nice buzz, John. A few thoughts: 1) The only person's opinion that really matter is your own (and perhaps that of your spouse by extension). 2) Don't believe or be influenced by the naysayers. The bigger your goal/dream, the more people will likely tell you why it's impossible to achieve. But nothing is impossible unless YOU think it's impossible. 3) As noted above, use criticism and/or derision as a catalyst for motivation to supersize your goals and work towards them more expeditiously and with renewed vigor. 4) In the end, most people will recognize you for big successes achieved, not failed attempts trying along the way.

John White, MBA

7 years ago #4

#2
CityVP \ud83d\udc1d Manjit, I'm learning as much as possible from them every day. Hopefully, I'm providing them with value as well.

Harvey Lloyd

7 years ago #3

Great stuff and I realize negative folks exist are they a road block or a mere cone? I used to think they were road blocks and if I could find the right leader then I could flourish . It wasn't until I realized it was my path they were blocking that realized all of them were cones on my path. With this in mind I was able to see that our two paths were splitting Perception within your path is everything

CityVP Manjit

7 years ago #2

John it would be great to know which mentors made a difference in your life. Grant it that the mentors we choose relate to a specific transformation, and in your buzz you mentioned this relationship with mentors and reading between the lines these mentors probably paid a significant part in your life.

🐝 Fatima G. Williams

7 years ago #1

Just because someone holds a fancier title than you or has a larger ego, doesn't mean they know what is best for your career. - A golden quote John White, MBA I've always known that someone who dismisses what you believe in either doesn't know you well or doesn't care about you in this case a manager or is a hater. Your career journey is an inspiration to many of us. We need to confide and seek advice from people who don't judge us and doesn't see us from the regular eyes. For example : I've seen the looks I've got from a few friends when I say I sometimes blog or sing. And I just dismiss those reactions because they don't know me as much as I know myself. Thank you for making a change in many peoples professional lives that which many leaders or influencers don't take the time to do Thank you for proving to us persistence and hardwork is the key to our success. "Do something small each day to improve your career, and over time those small steps will turn into something big." Your are living example of this. 👏✌🤗

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